Ok, so out of sheer curiosity, I went ahead and watched the Worst Anime Ever. Now, by “Worst,” I don’t just mean an anime that I personally can’t stand. No, we’re talking about the actual worst of the worst, the lowest-rated anime on MyAnimeList. We’re talking about “Skelter Heaven.” An Anime so shamelessly bad that Seventy percent of those who watched it gave a 1 out of 10 rating. On the opposite end, 4.7 percent gave it a perfect score, but I think we can all agree that it’s all for the sake of irony.
And it isn’t as if it’s so bad it’s actually good. It’s just bad. With every medium, there is the best, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the worst. So why is it so irrationally bad? Seriously, what went wrong? Actually, a month before this anime came out, a romantic adventure game was released, it wasn’t anything monumental, just plain and generic. Ironically, the game came out in the same month as when MyAnimeList was launched. We’re talking about November of 2004. I know it isn’t relevant, just thought it’s a nice coincidence.
Ok, so this Anime came out in December, and unsurprisingly, it failed at every metric there is. Except maybe the fansubs which at least turned it into an enjoyable meme. Alright, well let’s just stop bullying its reputation for a minute and go through what it’s actually about.
The story takes place in Japan. A three hundred meters tall alien squid who invaded Earth, and all hell has broken loose. There is destruction, uncertainty, and some insanely potent CGI. But the story isn’t just about dealing with an extraterrestrial threat, it’s about Artificially created girls, mechanoids, human drama, love problems, sketchy research while girls are tied to some weird machine, and most importantly, plenty of flashbacks.
Also, did I mention the anime randomly transitions to a bath scene? Yeah, it also made sure to add in a little bit of fanservice. All of this would somewhat make sense if it was a 12 episodes long anime, but it isn’t. It’s just 19 minutes long, out of which almost four minutes are spent on the opening and ending song. Talk about planning! If you told me this anime was done by a middle school Animation club, I’d believe you.
Though to be fair, if animation and the plot influx were the only problems, some people would’ve still praised it. It would’ve been categorized as Avant Grande. But the team behind it made sure to make the characters just as awful as the other elements. The protagonist named Otsuya has no redeemable traits whatsoever.
He spews utter nonsense and bosses the girls around. Even when faced with that abysmal alien squid, he proposes that they should just shoot it down with a Bazooka and get things over with. They’ll need help from the girls, and so, all of them are briefly mentioned separately before everyone gathers around to prepare for the battle. One of them is shown shooting arrows, two are seen battling each other in their mechas. The next scene shows a girl taking her sweet time in the shower even though she has been informed that an international emergency is taking place.
Everything is nice and wholesome so far. But what happens next is so sudden and out of nowhere that you’ll either find yourself totally confused or simply laugh. So, this is what happens. The girls are all in their revealing uniforms. Two of them are brazenly tied to an automatic exercising machine while the rest seem to be waiting for their turns. A researcher is standing with a digital notepad writing the frequency of their hentai moans.
It’s too stupid, why do these girls have to be tied to the machine? Why are they getting aroused? It makes no sense, but the anime manages to keep things consistently stupid throughout. Anyways, when the girls are done with the moaning. They gather in front of the protagonist and are told to take on that Stupid Squid alien. The action is jarring but it looks like the girls are no match for the Squid alien, but right when things seem hopeless, the girl who took her sweet time in the shower is in a dire situation. There are many death flags. We also get a flashback where both she and the protagonist are in high school. He asks if she is scared of dying, to which she replies that she isn’t.
The scene was kind of dramatic since they also made sure to add the cheap Cherry Blossoms effect. But once it is done, everything is still all good with Lin. In fact, she ends up having a strange epiphany, and before you know it, the Squid Monster is dead. It couldn’t have been any less dramatic.
The situation seems to have been resolved. The girl who was jealous of the favorable treatment Lin often gets, ends up in the emergency, but looks like she’ll survive. All’s well that ends well. Or maybe not, because a year after this conflict, a dozen of those same “Squid Aliens” invade earth, but the anime concludes right there and then.
So, first, they got us hooked with all that horrifying CGI, a douchebag protagonist, girls with unironically hilarious personalities, action sequences that looks more like a circus… and then, they left us all on this crazy cliffhanger. That’s really quite incredible in a way, which is why, despite being the worst anime that has ever come out of Japan, it is still a timeless classic. Who knows, maybe somewhere in the World there is a small group of individuals who can genuinely see and comprehend the inherent satire behind the execution of this anime.
What do you think? Are you planning to watch this anime? Or have you already watched this anime? In that case, do you think it’s literally the Worst Anime Ever made? What rating would you give it? I’m eager to read your thoughts so go wild in the comments section.
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